You Might Be A Flightmaster

1.After spending an hour clearing your workbench for a new project, within five minutes after starting that project you are down to one square foot of working space left.

2.Any object you drop in the model shop disappears instantly, sometimes even before it hits the ground.

3.0n arriving at the flying field, you will invariably find that you left an essential component such as your winder, charger, or entire tool box at home.

4.Your models invariably seek out and crash into the only barrier within miles, be it the only stick of wood in the Sahara Desert or your car.

5.Your cyanoacrylate glue tips always plug up after the third use.

6.You buy ten pounds of the type of rubber everyone has been raving about and then find out it is from the one batch of TAN II that goes limp after 30 winds.

7.You never drop a tiny part on the field unless you are in deep grass.

8.You break a motor and some S.O.B. says, "Back off one turn."

9.You make a lousy model and a photograph of it in a magazine is captioned, "It flies as good as it looks."

lO.You occasionally forget the difference between "wash-in" and "wash-out".

ll.You can't remember whether the AMA is a medical lobbying organization, a group that bikers belong to, or a high-priced insurance company.

12.You consider that silk is a covering material fit for Betty Grable's legs and models, and that the best use for plastic is bagging garbage.

13.You think RC is great, if you don't drink too much of it before bedtime.

14.You sand the inside of your cowls just in case someone sees that part after a crash.

15.Your local hobby dealer never carries anything you can use and always says "..he doesn't get any call for that."

16.Your wife would rather sit at home and watch TV on the Sunday of the big contest rather than come out and watch you cover yourself with glory.

17.You remember back when your wife never missed a contest before you were married.

18.You save every old magazine you have, even though you will never, ever be able to find anything in them you are looking for.

19.You find that the number of models you produce is inversely proportional to the number of plans and machine tools you have.

20.You keep putting off making a certain obscure plane that you love and someone else winds up making it.

21.You proudly show up at a contest with the lightest model you ever made and find that Clarence Mather is there with one just like it, only his weighs 1/3 as much as yours.

22.You wind your twin for a mass launch and don't discover that one motor is wound backwards until you throw it.

23.You find that the chances of throwing your model into a stall or into the ground increase dramatically when a VCR is pointed at it.

24.You discover that the chances that a contest is rained out or blown out are directly proportional to the distance you drive to get there.

25.You always show up at a contest with a new, untested model you just finished the night before.

26.You discover that the nice plush grass at the flying site of the big contest was mowed to sharp stubble the day before the meet.

27.Your model which just flew three minutes on a test flight will only do 21 seconds on your first official.

28.You go to put up your sunshade and find that your son did not put the corner pole he borrowed for his last scout outing back with your stuff.

29.You find you brought the box your best rubber scale job lives in to the contest, but that the model is on the kitchen counter where you were dewarping it when the phone rang.

30.Most of your newsletters arrive with two or three red "X'es" on them in the "time to renew" box.

31.You buy a kit of a rare Lawrence Brown "Miss Los Angeles" at an antique auction for a hundred bucks and discover when you get it home that the stuff inside is for building a Guillow's Piper Cub.

32.Your kids and grandkids would rather go to Disneyland than the Planes of Fame Museum when they come for a visit.

33.You can afford to buy all the R/C equipment you want, but you can't see any reason to do so.

34.You have never read an AMA Vice President's column all the way through to the end.

by Count Alex Pisana
via the L.A. Flightmasters Newsletter
AALmps 12/98